I Spoke Too Soon

I'm gonna have to learn that just because I feel better doesn't mean I am better. Today I'm in more pain again. Damnit. Gonna have to keep on the crutches and drugs a bit longer. This also may mean that I'm not going to head into work at all this week.

On an up note, I finally got to relish a shower this afternoon. Eek is much happier, as I don't smell as bad. But I'm more tired now, and I'm going to have a take another nap.

Oh... and Lynfa showed up last night with Saw II... if you saw (boo...) the first one, then I would highly recommend the second one. A little more disturbing, and a good sequel indeed.

Back in the Land of Consciousness

Lucidity: check. Today is my first day back in reality and it feels GREAT. I've spent the past 3 days floating in and out of sleep (thank-you Percocet!) and in various states of pain. But I'm happy to report, today the pain is minimal, and I am in fact hobbling about my apartment now without crutches. The bad news is... this is when the restlessness will start to set in.

Permit me some before and after pictures:

BEFORE:



(amazing how taking a picture of your own leg makes you feel ridiculously fat)

NOW:



(see that gauze up on my thigh? For some reason, they went in there)

Tomorrow, I get to take the gauze off. Which means I get to shower. Thank God. The whole sponge bath thing ain't that fun... nor that effective really. I will also finally get a sense of what *exactly* they have done to me, and what type of scars I'm going to have from it. Until now, its been relatively easy to trick myself into thinking that I've just sprained my knee... which is good because actually thinking that they went in with knives, cut out pieces of tendon and screwed them into other places makes me feel a little faint. I'm also going to get a look at the bruising. Until this morning, the only bruises that I had were on my hand from the I.V. But now, I can see some nasty-ass bruises starting to spread from under the gauze. An adventure it will be indeed.

Luckily, I've had plenty of company until this point. Jen and Mark have stopped by every day (offering to get me anything and bringing a bunch of DVDs), and I think I may head over to theirs at some point today to play Scrabble. Eva stayed until Friday afternoon... she left just in time, I think. She was really becoming all... well... motherlike. Which I don't deal well with. But it was useful for the first 24 hours, as I couldn't move my leg at all and needed her to move it for me to get up. But when she said "Maybe I should stay a few more days..." that got me moving alright. Like a mofo. I was even able to get up to see her out the door. But she made plenty of soup that is now in my fridge for the next couple of days.

A half hour after Eva was out the door, Michelle (aka Biatch) was round for the evening. God bless 'er. She made good on her promise to bake while I was stoned, and I awoke from my percocet coma to the smell of banana bread (both with and without chocolate chips) emanating from my kitchen. And we watched "Some Kind of Wonderful". And the first DVD from Season 1 of Arrested Developement. Vik and Mark stopped by, but that would be about the time that the pain-killer was wearing off, and I was quickly starting to fade into a painful haze. More percocet, said goodnight to all, and floated into more sleep.

Yesterday was mainly spent sleeping. For every hour I was awake, I would guesstimate that I was asleep for about 2. Michelle had organized an entertainment day full of British comedy to keep me occupied, but seeing as I could barely stay awake, and walking to the washroom (about 6 feet) would result in a required hour nap, I thought that going over to her place and walking the fuck-off amount of stairs to get there would not be prudent at that point in my recovery. So sadly, the Anderson Entertainment committee had to convene without Anderson there. But I think they got drunk, so they ended up entertaining themselves. Instead, Mike popped over to keep me occupied. And so, the evening saw me asleep on the couch with the Olympics playing in the background. And seeing as he had spent the evening before curling, he too fell asleep quite readily, thus making me feel less guilty. Loverly. We ended up sleeping for 13 hours, which it turns out, was exactly what was required for me to return to almost normal.

And so, I'm now awake and relatively pain free. I've only taken one pain killer so far today, which is great. The problem is: this is when I'm going to get antsy. I've already started calling people, and I've got plenty more that I will call later. I'm still in my brace, but will probably start taking it off more by tomorrow. I have a ball of yarn that will soon become a dishcloth, and I'm going to get back on to reading Memoirs of a Geisha. I've decided that no matter what, I won't return to work until at least Thursday, to ensure that my recuperation stays on track. I've brought work home anyways... might as well take advantage of this time to chillax.

Yep, in about 6 hours, I'll be going crazy. But I've already started to look forward to next Saturday, which will be my first foray back into the social world. And for good reason: Simon's back in town. A fine reason to return indeed.

OOOOOOwww

It hurts. I can hardly move. I'm pretty much stuck on the couch. Going to the can sucks. But you know what doesn't suck?

Morphine.

Mmmmm. Morphine.

Crazy's Gettin' Some Lovin'

Crazy across the hall seems to have a male friend. He's been there since the weekend, and talks as loud (and slow) as she does. Now, normally I would be happy for her, because really, who doesn't deserve companionship? Unfortunately, however, this new relationship is just, well, gross.

Jen informed me that, while I was gone over the weekend, many residents heard Crazy discussing (yelling) inappropriate things from the confines of her apartment. Example snippets:

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? SHOULD I TAKE MY PANTS OFF?"

And even better:

"SMELL MY FINGERS. DO THEY SMELL LIKE FISH TO YOU?"

I shit you not.

Eew.

Fucking FUNNIEST Thing...

We were just sent outside for a second fire alarm (there are midterms being written in the building... godamned people... don't they understand that they will STILL have to write the exam at some point???). Kevin and I had decided to go and purchase a coffee during the first fire alarm. Which was unfortunate for him.

We are standing outside enjoying said coffee, when Kevin decides to take it upon himself and breathe and swallow at the same time. Sufficed to say, this did not work.

In fact, it resulted in the best full-on spray out I have ever seen in my life. Of hot coffee. I had a front row seat, and was able to actually see the copious amounts of hot coffee that came out his nose. As did many other faculty members and students.

I'm sure that it hurt, but I didn't have a chance to check with him as I was busy bent over laughing harder than I've laughed before.

He's not dead, so I stand by my indifference.

And Home Again

It all seems like a dream. Was I ever really gone? Did I really make it through this alive? Was I really that stressed for the past several weeks? Yes, yes and yes. And now all I can do is wait. Sigh. At least there's nothing I can do at this point. Either they want me or don't: either way, I survived, and think that I still ended up smelling like roses on the other side.

The rest of the trip was fantabulously relaxing. I am now the proud new owner of several pairs of comfy pants that should fit effortlessly over that nasty brace that I will be sporting by the end of the week. Lynne and I also went to see Brokeback Mountain on Saturday night. Its as good as they say.

I also learned a critical life lesson on Friday night: just because Phrilly is not with you does NOT mean that you will get out of doing shots. I made the mistake of putting her on the phone with Lynne for what ended up being at least 5 minutes. When I got the phone back, Phrilly had already hung up without saying goodbye. When I asked Lynne what they talked about (they have never met), Lynne basically said "Mind your business", and stepped away from the table. When she came back, she had two shots of Goldschlager. Bitch. Times 2.

My flight was delayed by over an hour coming home (stupid Air Canada... I don't like them anymore and WILL NOT defend them during cocktail conversation). But thankfully, Mike offered to pick me up from the airport, and as such I was not nearly as much the crotchety old bitch that I may have been. God bless him. That also meant that I got sushi when I got home. Brilliant.

And after doing jack-shit today at work, I am off home to start compiling a collection of clothing that I will be able to don at the end of the week. Its funny, starting to think about how this surgery will actually affect my life... I will have a very difficult time showering, which will be unfortunate. I will have to carefully contemplate what I will wear. And I will have a difficult time TTCing it around this city. I'm not going to do well with being laid up, I can tell you that. But at least Michelle will be my bitch.

Brilliant.

Greetings From Edmonton

It is done. I have survived my first full-on academic interview. And boy, am I tired. In fact, it is 11:29am (1:29 Ontario time), and I am still on Lynne's couch, under the duvet, watching TV and surfing the web. I haven't really moved. I have a stain on the front of my PJ shirt, but I don't care enough to get my ass off the couch and do anything about. And so it shall stay.

To say that yesterday was a long day would be an understatement. I was picked up from the hotel by the department chair at 7:30am, and left dinner with the hiring committee (+Honey) at 8:30pm. And it was packed in between. Arranged meetings with people, discussing the program, how my research would fit in, everything is a bit of a blur now. I also had an hour and a half panel interview that I did not realize that I would have until I was actually sitting down for it. Probably best that way, as I would have become ridiculously nervous if I had've known about it before-hand.

And everything went great.

I am very jealous of Lynne's working environment. The people here are fantastic and everyone is enthusiastic about what they do. The Chair is great... he really seems to have the interests of all of his department members as his upmost priority. The way that they are developing their new honours program is also really, really cool (again, largely thanks in part to the devotion of Honey herself). There is a very, very heavy teaching load, but I am up for the challenge. Bring it on, I say, bring it on. Since there is no-one that does perception here, I would become the resident expert, a rarity in the academic circles these days.

My talk went well... thankfully everyone here has general interests, and so they seemed to not only follow my research talk but actually enjoy it (*shock, gasp*). While I was nervous for the first 10 minutes or so, the sight of Honey's bobbing grinning head from the back row gave me confidence, and the talk ended up being more of a discussion. Again, I think this will help in the long run as it showed that I could talk TO and not AT people. Oh, and the fact that the 'external' member of the 5 member hiring committee was an engineer didn't hurt matters either... we talked Matlab, and even discussed the possibility of introducing a course in Matlab in one of the departments. This would be especially useful, as they are planning on having honours students select their 3rd and 4th year courses on recommendations from their honours advisor (who will be selected at the beginning of their 3rd year). I could then develop a system of programming minions. And work towards my eventual goal of taking over the world.

And so now I must wait. They will be making their decision at the end of next week. Now it will all depend on my competition, and whether or not the department is willing to risk hiring someone who has never taught before. Everything else should be working in my favour. I have tempered hope.

And now I get to spend the next 48 hours with Honey. Brilliant.

Neglectful, I am

Life has been sucked away over the past couple of weeks, taken up with interview preparation, doctor's appointments, manuscript revisions (accepted now! Booyeah.) and of course social events (for some reason, there has been an increase in karaoke activity). As such, I have not blogged.

But never fear!

I am not dead.

Although I may be in a couple of days.

I'm off to Edmonton now, quaking in my boots. Will I be a total tard? Will I embarass Lynne? I hope not. Damnit, I'm going to have to find SOMEONE to employ me. I'm 31 years old for Christ sake! Time to get me a job.

Copying the Copying Copying of Cleavers

Today ain't that productive, so instead I'll mimic Honey and Cleavers .

4 Jobs That I Have Had:

1. Deli Counter Girl at Staffen's Foodmarkets
2. Piano Teacher (I made a kid cry)
3. Yard Crew at St. Marys Cement Plant (which included gravel shovelling and heavy equipment operation... God I loved that job)
4. Lab Peon

4 Films I Can Watch Over and Over:

1. Zoolander
2. Dumb and Dumber (but NOT Dumb and Dumberer, as I have unfortunately discovered post-purchase)
3. Contact
4. The Big Lebowski

4 Places I Have Lived:
[This has got to be the most unromantic list of all time: and I'm not excluding any due to space limitations either]
1. St. Marys, Ontario
2. London, Ontario
3. Hamilton, Ontario
4. Toronto, Ontario

4 Foods I Like:

1. Shrimp: especially of the 'cocktail' variety
2. Any sort of dried meat product
3. Tuna (canned, raw, steak, whatever)
4. Candy from Christine's coffee table

4 Things to Do Before I Die:

1. Follow Lynne's lead and become a Nutty Professor (though my classification will likely end up being a Window-Licking Professor)
2. To attain the appropriate level of maturity to recognize that Buffet does NOT mean challenge
3. To play the guitar on stage
4. Get Cleavers to do a Canadian accent

4 Places I'd Rather Be:

1. Slainte's
2. The Tap
3. The Ceeps
4. The Duke of York

Best Bumper Sticker Ever.

No Question.

Oh... and I finally asked Bretzky what the name for a "Lacrosse Bunny" was...

I knew it was funny.

Really funny.

Ready?

It's a "Lacrosstitute".

Trouble at the Fitzwilliam

On first read, I thought THIS may have been my brother. Sounds like something one of us would do. Upon careful inspection, however, I'm glad to report that this person was not related to an Anderson. Poor chap. Embarrassing enough: but to have it make American headline news, well, that just adds insult to injury.

Happy Monday!

Me No Likey Technology

Bad News: Poindexter is Ill. In fact, Poindexter won't start. This means that I will not have a computer for a whole weekend. This does not suit me very well. When I took it to the tech (who is extremely competent), he said, and I quote "Hmm. I've never seen THIS before". That is not good. Not good at all. Especially given that I need him in order to give my talk in Edmonton in a couple of weeks. I hope he's OK, for both our sakes.

This problem prevented me from drunk blogging last night, unfortunately. Although Cleavers did. God Bless 'er.

We have found a new Thursday night haunt: Mayday Malone's on Bathurst at DuPont. The key ingredients:
1. Karaoke
2. Darts tournament (where Phrilly was invited to join a league... Go Banana!)
3. $4.35 pints
4. Walking distance.
all make it a fantastic choice indeed. Unfortunately, we got Phrilly to the Dance Cave a little too late to make her stick to her sobriety guns. Ah well.

This weekend will be full of sports and concerts... good times to be had by all. Kicking-off tomorrow morning at 9am, I'm heading to Skalliwags with the Brits to watch some Ruggers... then to Hugh's Room for dinner and Matt Barber/Peter Elkas/Valerie Gore discussions... and Sunday to Phrilly's to watch her cheer on her beloved Steelers for SuperBowl XL.

Maybe its best that I don't have Poindexter, as it would just make me feel guilty that I won't be doing any semblence of work this weekend.